The Reluctant Vampire
by
Richard Leland
There are teachers and there are students. The possibility of the existence of a not so rational, rational, my foot, incompetetent is more like it, professor who teaches the intracacies of vampire activities, specifically ‘how to’ is an interesting conjecture. But the student must follow the teacher’s advise. Always! Don’t you wonder about an incompetent teacher and a more incompetent student?
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.............an Excerpt...............
“Did my ears hear right?” He became still and listened. He heard it again. “Ah, there it is.
Someone’s kicking on my door.” He got up, turned slowly patting dust from his armchair, and shuffled, limping anew, across the large dusty living
room.
“Imagine!” he mused, satisfied with his vampire lectures. “Who could be calling on this teacher at this time of night?” His chuckle amused
him.
He paused at the old wood door to listen and peered through the peephole while massaging a
sore spot on his lower back.
“One can’t be too careful, especially at night.”
Squinting extremely, he saw no person
through the peephole and was disappointed. He flashed a slow thought and wondered if his abundant mind had decided to play tricks on his ears.
He shook his head and cautiously put his wrinkled hand on the doorknob, turned the key in the
rusted lock, snagged a long fingernail, and pulled the door open.
“Geez that hurt,” he said noting a
long tear in his prize nail.
He didn’t want to believe the blurred image his stinging eyes reported standing before him. “Are you back again?” he asked his student. “So soon?”
Vampire’s hair was straight and dull, not curly with a lot of shine to it as
it had been the night before. His eyes shown as two dull blank silver disks when they should have
blazoned red and oozed vibrant blood. His clothes were rendered rags, shredded in many places and
smelled of gun powder, a blatant comparison to the tuxedo he had worn to the nighttime outing and
worst of all, he was stoop shouldered.
“What happened?” the old man asked. “You’ve aged and not too well.”
“They threw a bomb at me.”
“A bomb? Had you selected a target?”
“Several.”
“Several? Well, what’s your problem?”
“Right now my problem is you, repeating everything I say.”
“Everything?”
Vampire appeared moody. He rolled his eyes.
The old man said: “Even though you’re strong, you’re no match for human ingenuity. You’re
too evil to match them.”
“I thought you told me everything.”
“Everything you need to get you going.”
“They almost got me going. I couldn’t breathe too well after the explosion.”
“Don’t inhale next time until after the smoke dissipates.”
“Are you certain, old man?”
“Certain as the world’s foremost teacher can be.”
“Well.”
“Well, what?”
“Are you certain you told me everything?”
“More certain than ever. Turn now, flit off into the night and find your next
juicy victim--a target of opporunity.”
He slammed the door and locked it. He was extremely satisfied with his instructions to the student.
End of the Excerpt from The Reluctant Vampire
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